"Did you know what you were getting into?"

In the community where we live, it is fairly uncommon to live a military lifestyle.  People hear how often we will move and how often Yoni is gone and to some it sounds miserable.  Especially if they see me in the moments where I am not holding it together quite so well, I hear the question, full of concern, "Did you know what you were getting into?"  The truth is, I understand where this question comes from.  It makes sense that so many have asked me this, and I am sure if I were in their position I would ask someone as well.  And to those of you that have, thank you, because you inspired me to think about it.

Did I "know" what I was getting into?

On one hand, yes.  Yoni was already in ROTC, so on an intellectual level, I knew that he was going to be in the Air Force.  By the time we got engaged, he had already received a pilot training slot, so I knew that his job would be flying planes in the Air Force.  Yet at our L'Chaim (engagement party) in Dallas, I have a distinct memory of someone coming up to me and saying, "Welcome to the military!"  And I naively responded, "I'm not in the military.  Yoni is."

So to answer the question honestly, No.  I did not know what I was getting into.  Growing up in Columbia, MD, I did not have much exposure to the concept of military.  The most I knew was that we played Ft. Meade for a softball scrimmage one spring.  So I had a pretty steep learning curve once we moved to Enid, Oklahoma and the military became our every day life.  

This realization made me question, "Had I known what I was getting into, would I have made any decisions differently?"  And of course, my answer is absolutely not!  G-d probably didn't want me to know exactly what I was getting into at that point, because I was not mature enough to understand it yet, and He didn't want me to change my mind based on a scary future.  While the moves can be difficult while we are in them, and the separation feels excruciating at times, the end of the year comes and I look back at how each and every experience this lifestyle gives us is ultimately for our best.  These difficulties bring us closer to each other and teach us how to prioritize our lives.

And the truth is, does anyone truly know what they are getting into when they make any big decisions in life? Whether it is a decision to have a child, to marry someone, or even something less permanent like starting a new job, most people embark half-blind.  Before having the experience, it is not possible to have a complete awareness of what the experience will be like.  To make these kinds of decisions, one must combine the intellectual decision with the feelings of the heart.  Does it feel right?  If so, then you need to trust that it feels right for a reason and G-d is with you in the decision.  You will have Guidance and Support along the way.