Two worlds collide

A week and a half ago, Yoni and I (with the kids in tow) traveled to the opposite corner of the country. We went to Miami, Florida for five days! Despite the fact that Miami is quite a nice place to escape Seattle winter, we did not go for the weather. We went to attend the Aleph Institute annual conference and Shabbaton.

"The Aleph Institute is a not-for-profit national educational and humanitarian organization serving the unique needs of Jews in diverse and limited environments such as the military ... and everywhere they and their families can become isolated from their Jewish heritage."

The conference, which took place on Thursday and Friday, was a training and discussion forum for Orthodox Jewish chaplains and lay leaders. Yoni is a Jewish lay leader at JBLM (Joint Base Lewis McChord), so he participated in this training. There were a few programs for spouses, but I spent the majority of the days hanging out with the kids and the other spouses who came along.

On Friday, Yoni took over parenting for one hour as I participated in a life-changing meeting.
Ten frum military wives sat together in a room to discuss the challenges of this unique life. Being a religious Jew makes you a minority. Being a military wife makes you a minority. Being both is nearly unheard of! It almost brought me to tears as I sat in a room with so many other strong, inspirational women who all shared stories which are a direct reflection of my own feelings and my life.

I absolutely love living in the Jewish community here in Seattle. The support is wonderful and the friendships I have made brighten every day. Nevertheless, every single time Yoni is away I get lots of pity parties. There's a lot of "I don't know how you can do that." "I would never be able to do that." etc.
I know this comes from a good place, but the truth is, I don't know exactly how I do it either. If you had asked me two years ago if I would have been able to parent two young children on my own for weeks at a time, I would have said of course not! But Hashem only gives us what we can handle. Since this is the life we have been given, I know I must be able to handle it. And thank G-d, I do. The kids eat, they sleep, and we even have a little bit of fun in the process.

When I sat in a room with these other amazing women, I felt like the lot we've been given is a tremendous gift. One of the other more seasoned military wives told a story of home-schooling 5 children in a middle of nowhere town while her husband was deployed. Another explained how she had 4 school-age children when they lived in Germany. Over the summer, they brought a Jewish day camp to Germany simply so her kids could have somewhere to go.

Not only did these stories inspire me, but befriending these amazing women will prove invaluable. For the first time in years and years, I felt completely understood and belonging to a group of people.

In the military scene, we hang out with very nice people, but being observant Jews sets us apart. In the Jewish community, my friends all have husbands who work for Microsoft or learn at the kollel, or some other "local" job. I have a husband who leaves a few times a month to fly a plane around the world.

In this room, every single person had a life similar to mine. They all have a patriotic husband who is serving his country. They all live an observant Jewish life.

Feeling this camaraderie made us all recognize the importance of defining this group of women and creating some sort of "sisterhood" and support system. I volunteered to spearhead the initiative, so I am currently trying to locate each and every frum military wife that's out there. We are compiling everybody's information and then meeting with the Aleph Institute to determine the best course of action to take.

My ultimate goal, once we have firmly established the wive's group, is to create a kid's support system. My little vision is to have a "camp" for kids the same weekend as the conference and Shabbaton each year. The religious military kids could benefit from the same chizuk (strength) that all of us wives got from coming together and discussing our challenges and learning experiences.

With that, I'll leave you with a picture of Adina Rachel dancing with her shoes in her hands on our balcony overlooking Surfside Beach: