Photos help remind me where the days go...

The past few weeks (months?) have been a bit of a whirlwind, but we are slowly settling into a bit of a routine.  As I mentioned before, Yoni returned from his deployment the first day of Sukkot.  The holiday lasts 8 days (days filled with synagogue, food, and moving back home from the Air Force Base).  The very next day, Yoni returned to work and found out that the following morning at 5 AM he had to leave for a trip.  Now this trip was only a week away, so compared to the deployment it feels like nothing, but it kind of took me by surprise because I didn't feel like we had a moment to take a step back and relax together at all since his return.  But no rest for the weary - on that Thursday morning, he was off!

During his time away, I had a lot of fun with my new camera I got for my birthday from my parents (Thanks! :) )  Here are some black and white head shots of the kids sitting at the table during lunch time:

And a color shot of Ze'ev enjoying his yogurt...

Looking at these pictures again now, I want to share how much these smiling little faces get me through day after day when Yoni is away.  I absolutely love spending my days with them.  Yes, it is a lot of work!  Yes, I get very tired!  But I can't imagine doing anything else with my life...  I can't imagine anything else bringing me more joy or giving me more fulfillment than raising these two beautiful souls...

The timing actually worked out quite perfectly for me, because just a couple days after Yoni left, my parents arrived for a short visit.  They were disappointed that they missed seeing him again, but at least I had company for the majority of his absence.  Here are some pictures during their time here:

And a black and white shot of story time with Poppy...

Here's another fun photo I took of Adina at the park...

And now, back to life as "normal."  

Just hanging out reading a book

Ze'ev's new shirt celebrating Aba's promotion to Captain during his deployment

A cute picture of Adina hugging her good friend during one of their many play dates

 I hope everyone enjoys the pictures, and as I start getting sleep and rhythm in my life again I hope to blog more regularly. :)

Our temporary dwelling...

After many attempts at getting special religious accommodations and many discussions with his commander and chaplains, Yoni had no choice but to return home with the rest of his squadron during the first yom tov days of the holiday Sukkot (during which we observe the laws restricting driving, phone, etc.).  So the kids and I packed up and headed to base so that we could walk to meet him as he got off the airplane and be there to spend the rest of the yom tov with him.

Thank G-d, all of the intense logistics worked out pretty seamlessly.  I'm not even going to go into all of the details here, because it made my head spin for a week and I don't want to do that to all of you.  But it could not have been done without help.  Some really amazing women (other pilots' wives) from the squadron helped with the kids while I unpacked and then had to switch rooms the next day.  It was also great for my kids to spend some fun time playing with their kids and for me to have some company while we eagerly anticipated Aba's return.

In some ways, I absolutely loved this arrangement.  When Yoni returned, we had a little vacation.  We had a day to completely relax and just spend time together as a family - almost like a mini vacation - before returning home to laundry, unpacking, and cleaning.

The biggest negative about him arriving on yom tov, in my opinion, is we were not able to take pictures of the reunion.  Thankfully, one of the wives had a friend there who's a professional photographer and happened to snap one shot of Adina as we watched the airplane taxi after landing.  I had the sling on to carry Ze'ev, but apparently he was off running somewhere.

Adina was very excited (contrary to her very serious look in the picture), and I knew that she would jump into Aba's arms once she saw him.

I wasn't quite sure how Ze'ev would react.  In the past two months, he has developed intense separation anxiety, and has refused anyone but Mommy.  I was so pleasantly surprised.  Within a minute, he reached his arms out to Aba, cuddled onto his shoulder and wouldn't let go.  Yoni has fed him a lot of meals and put him to sleep the past couple days, and Ze'ev is more than happy to not have Mommy around for all of those things.  Not only is it a little reprieve for me, but it is so nice for Yoni to have this time to bond with him. :)

Now we have about a week home together... until he resumes flying his week-long missions.  But hey, if I can handle 2 1/2 months, a week will feel like nothing!

Life as a painting... and where we stand when we view it.

Since my first year in college, when I began delving into the depth of a Jewish world view, I have combined many different explanations and analogies within my mind to understand this world and our purpose in it.

One of the first analogies I heard has always stuck with me.  At each stage in our life, we are drawing a few lines and putting different splotches of color onto a canvas.  Sometimes it can look pretty or seem exciting or boring, or even dreary.  Only at the end of our life can we step back from the canvas to see how all of those random colors and lines blend together to form a beautiful painting.  

This analogy has also helped me at different points in my life when I struggled with emuna (faith).  If I believe G-d's hand is guiding the paintbrush, even those big black splotches have meaning and make a positive contribution to the painting as a whole.

Freshman year of college, on one of my first weekends back home, I tried to apply this analogy to my life with the following poem:

(written November 23, 2004)

Every place has a story.

I walk down the street and memories race.

How can so much meaning

be embedded in a place?

The world is my canvas,

but up to this time

I had only walked along

a thinly drawn line.

And along that line,

I knew it all.

Now reimmersed,

I so easily recall.

With every step I take,

I remember the feel.

My naive perceptions of life

once again seem real.

But although on some layer

that line remains,

the picture around it is forming

and its essence is changed...

Now why have I started thinking of this analogy over the past week?

I've started to look at relationships as paintings.  When we're in the day to day involvements of a relationship, we see only the color splotches and lines.  We see it so close up that a little splotch that's not exactly where it's supposed to be can nag at us or become bothersome.  We analyze the line formations.

When you have a distance relationship for a few months, you take a few steps back from the painting.  You see and appreciate the beautiful picture formed by all those little lines and splotches.  Now, as Yoni has returned home, I try to keep that big picture in mind.